so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
