My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
