Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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