Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
