My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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