guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
