I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
