I accidentally burped into my bong.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
