Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
