I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
