Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
