My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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