dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
