The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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