i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
