this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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