I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
