I'm lost and stupid without you.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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