Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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