Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
