It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
