i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
