so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i drank out of a bidet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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