Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So. Much. Porn.
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