oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just cropdusted the office
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
