Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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