I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
