Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
