But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Quick, to the slutcave!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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