I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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