I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
