Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
