i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
