Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
There was a lot of him and a little penis
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
