just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to make out with him forever
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
