i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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