Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
