Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
