so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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