i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
