I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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