One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
