return my video game
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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