So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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