I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
