She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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