I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
