I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
