I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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