i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
