You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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